I believe I was sexually assaulted on 25NOV2021 by my ex. legal advice

 Location: Lincoln, NE


I believe I was sexually assaulted on 25NOV2021 by my ex


He came to town to see me and we hung out at my friends with her and her husband. Her husband went to bed early. It left us three. I ended up being black out drunk. My ex and my friend had to carry me from the table to the couch to sleep per both parties report. Woke up around 0500 and went to the restroom. I came back out and he was gone. Called him and he stated he was looking for liquid IVs and had left. He was evasive and curt with me and it seemed off but I brushed it off. Eventually I accepted that he had left and decided to leave my friends home and went back to my home shortly after. I ended up falling asleep in my car in the driveway for hours. Following that:

•     I woke up, went inside. Used the restroom. Noticed my leggings were on backwards. Felt slightly sore in my v@ginal area and was spotting when I wiped. Decided to message my ex and ask what happened.

•     He said nothing happened and explained that I got super drunk blacked out and the night ended early and he and my friend had to carry me to the couch.

• I also reached out to my friend and she stated the same thing. I asked her if anything happened and she said that she did not know and that she went up stairs once she knew I was good. She stated my ex and I slept on separate couches. So I decided to move on.

• Did not get a rape kit done as I thought I had possibly dreamt the entire situation and just kept asking him what had happened. He kept saying nothing did. So I decided to move on.

• however, I kept having like photographic images of him being on top of me. I could not shake the feeling something weird happened.

• Went to give a report to police and they asked me for my clothing.

• Went to give another report with a detective another day. That day I also turned in additional clothing from the night of the incident. 

• They reached out to him to get a statement and DNA. He refused the DNA but gave a statement I believe. His statement was along the lines of ‘he had only penetrated me v@ginally with his fingers and that it was consensual and I was also touching him through his clothing’. He also stated that I woke up, said my head hurt, and then he came over to sit by me and then s3xual acts started taking place. He later reached out to me to ask me if something happened that resulted in me making a report. 

• He was court ordered to give DNA. They got it. A year plus has passed sense results came back. 

• Labs came back and last week I was told and his s3men was found on my waistband and v@ginal area of my leggings. The detective said the information would be submitted to the county attorney office

• Per the detective, County Attorney office response,

“At this time, the county attorneys office does not feel comfortable going forward with criminal charges again Mr. ____.  They cited the difficulties of trying these cases where there are two intoxicated persons involved and convincing the entire jury that the suspect acted to intentionally have sexual intercourse with someone they may or may not have known was able to consent to such act.”

There is so much more to add but I don’t want to make this longer than it needs to be.

I just want to know if this is where it ends? 

What else can I do?

Can I provide additional text messages between the ex and I?  

How was the fact that he told me different than what he told the detective not relevant?

How is the lab result not a strong indication something occurred? He even supported the fact that I was blacked out by saying I was “smoked”. 

Please be kind but veracious and candid with your feedback. I get how it all sounds. I really do. I just really just want some advice and to just start to prepare myself to let it go if I can’t do anything about it. 

I you want to speak to me directly, please note so. I am willing to message you directly.

Thank you in advance.

1 comment

  1. I’m sorry to say but this is usually where it ends. Rape is one of the hardest cases to prosecute for the reasons you discovered. Proof beyond a reasonable doubt is incredibly hard to establish in cases where both parties are intoxicated. When we are talking about 12 random people who are given jury instruction, it’s fair to say that at least one of them won’t see the incident from your point of view.
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