I am in Minnesota, USA. I came to America as a child, because my mother moved here. It happened through the Catholic Church

 Hi all thank you for accepting me in your group. I have two questions but I have anxiety so I'll just ask the most important first. I will try to summarize as best I can. I'm in Minnesota, USA. I came to America as a child, because my mother moved here. It happened through the Catholic church, so we came with religious visas. Ever since my mother had she has been abusive towards me. When we moved to the US it changed a bit more like her tactics but her abuse didn't stop. She wouldn't be much physical abusive to me because she was scared of laws here. (We're originally venezuelan). Still she had other forms of abusing me. When I was a teenager it was awful. So much so I couldn't even see her. I couldn't be in the same room with her without feeling I would throw up. I've always been terrified of her. Im 33 and still am. When I was 15 I found an opportunity to return to Venezuela, which was terrible idea but I was running away from her and didn't know better. By then we had a process going on for obtaining residence. Since I left I didn't receive it (she also never notified immigration I left until years later which I understand was detrimental for my case), she is a green card holder. In 2016 I returned to the US with a student visa. So that was around ten years later. I was going to the university of Minnesota and kind of handled things. I went through a lot in Venezuela, I returned with my daughter who is now 14. She has been abusive toward us every chance she'd have. I can't return to Venezuela. I've been trying to get green card through my mother, but I've been begging her just to fill out forms for like three years and she never does. She always has an excuse, like she never has time, or whatever... But she has time to help other people (ironically her job here for over 20+ years is to help Hispanic immigrants... Except her daughter and granddaughter). She finally gave me all the info I needed. But I don't even know if I need her in the future to sign things or I don't know what she might not do it. Again, took me three years so she gave me the information I needed. Last year my right knee meniscus tore and I had meniscus repair surgery in September. That was a nightmare. Not only the physical impact it had on me, but she used that to come to my apartment and stay there under the excuse of "taking care of me". She did everything but that. She was abusive towards me and my daughter, I didn't have mobility. She would even keep me without having any food for entire day. She made me miss several PT appointments, and be late to those she miraculously did take me to. I lost 15 or more lbs (many times she gave me "breakfast" at 10:30 PM after leaving me the entire day without food, or even without taking me to the bathroom). I was scared of asking her for food because of how aggressive she would get if I asked her for it. In December I was feeling so bad I had asked her for food regardless of her behavior because I felt I would pass out or worse in bed. One of those times her behavior was so horrid I couldn't stand it anymore and called 911. It was a Sunday so I had to wait either for the PD to open hours later or for a cop to come from another town (I live in a rural area). First she thought I made it up, when she realized I did call 911 on her she started behaving worse, but then she just yelled at me she wasn't going anywhere because she had many of her belongings here. I told her if she wanted to take her things she should start taking them right away because I wasn't keeping her there one more second once the cops arrived. So she took her things, and she also emptied the fridge (which had food she didn't buy because she didn't help with any money, as a matter of fact she tried taking money from me .. and she also "stole" money from me I had borrowed her but then she said to my face she just wasn't ever paying it back) and some of the stuff in the pantry and left before any cop arrived. I haven't been talking to her about anything, and the few times I've replied to her messages it has been because another family member depends on it.  The thing is my anxiety is through the roof, I have major depressive disorder and PTSD caused by her upbringing. I contacted my attorney regarding the whole situation, because as I said here I don't know if she'll even sign the forms once he has them ready. I asked him if I'd be eligible for VAWA, but he refused to give me any information, because he knows my mother. So I'm just in limbo now, I have an attorney I paid for who won't even tell me if I'm eligible and who told me he wouldn't make that kind of application for me because he knows her. Which i don't even understand what the issue is because as far as I know she would never know about it because of the protection laws around it. And I'm not trying to take any legal action against her. Even as I'm writing this I'm shaking. I just want to know if I'm eligible or not, and what can I do so I can have more peace of mind regarding my status right now I'm on a TPS and have work authorization. I had to apply for food and cash assistance because I hadn't been able to work since August due to my torn meniscus. I had a second surgery February this year. Im sorry if this was lengthy I tried to summarize it as best I could.

1 comment

  1. And I'm not sure about Minnesota, but in California there are some who work pro bono, so you might look for an attorney in your state. If you want to move forward with her as a sponsor, you will be associated with her for at least 5 years, because she is sponsoring you, after which you can become a US citizen. IMO I would recommend that you apply for VAWA, start collecting evidence, do a police report of what happened where you are, etc. I hope everything will get better for you. NAL
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